Who Goes First

Who Goes First   

Laverne Zabielski, narrator

I have had enough. The weeds growing between the rocks. 

It’s Larry‘s job to do the weed eating. I can’t. I don’t want to. 

What will I do when he doesn’t want to? Can’t? 

I’ve had enough worrying about who goes first. 

He pays all the bills on the computer. I don’t know the passwords. 

We should pay them together, he said. 

I don’t want to. What if we both live another ten years? 

That would be ten years wasted me doing what I don’t want to do 

when he does it so well. 

Maybe you should just do it all, he said. 

Get used to it. Just in case I go first.

I fall quiet. I’m stern. 

You do not want me to manage the money, I tell him. 

Ask either of my previous husbands. Yes, I can do it. 

I know about due dates and bank balances.

But, I have different values and I’m not as frugal as you are, I tell him.

That’s why I threaten him I’m going shopping when he won’t weed eat. 

I don’t expect him to weed eat like before, when we lived in the country. 

And he was a weed eating maniac. 

I asked my son, Johnny, to move all the rocks so I could mow 

right up to the edge of the flower bed. Make it neat. 

I want the petunias to show and the zinnias not buried behind weeds. 

If we move the rocks, I won’t have to nag Larry about weed eating. 

I won’t have to threaten I'm going shopping. 

Which I never actually do. I understand frugality is necessary 

to have a little cash in our old age. 

I want the rocks! Larry said. I will weed eat. 

I called Johnny back. 

Don’t 

move 

the rocks! 

Larry got up early today to move the rocks closer together 

so the weeds won’t squeeze through. 

I’m waiting with anticipation for when I arrive home 

but not with too much anticipation. 

This has been anticipated before. 

And I’m not going to start paying bills, either. 

I will deal with it when the time comes 

which it may never come. I may go first.